The Struggle to be Still
Two days ago, I got food poisoning. Up all night, the next day was a haze of discomfort and utter boredom.
I couldn't even read.
Yet, even in mandated stillness, quiet was the last thing that I found.
For a while, I did what felt "natural and easy" -- I watched netflix, I surfed pinterest, I occasionally dozed. Yet the day was dragging on. Slower than molasses.
Finally, I closed my computer, closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel what my body was going through.
I felt my dry mouth, my uncertain stomach, sharp muscle pains in my legs. I felt the desire for this sickness to be over, the desire to read, the desire to run, jump and play. I felt exhaustion and lethargy.
Nothing felt uplifting... yet somehow, I felt uplifted.
I was able to drink a little more water. I was able to pick up a coffee table book, if only to look at pictures.
And suddenly, my day started going by at normal pace... quickly even.
But the outcome of getting still was a price worth paying.