From the outside, teams and committees* look very similar. And, when things are easy, the results might even be similar. Internally, they couldn't be more different.

Teams are motivated around a singular goal, larger than any of them. Committees are groups of people that are protecting their own interests.

When marketing is looking out for marketing, or a town thinking only about their citizens (and not the whole county or state), you know you're in a committee.

The differences become readily apparent when the going gets hard.

On a team, decisions may be hard and discussion heated, but it culminates in action. Often, challenging, bold action, that may even be negative for members of the team.

On a committee, nothing real gets done. There is much discussion and fanfare... but, action is usually blocked, delayed or exceedingly safe. When it comes to hard times, committees rarely win.

As a leader, you need to unite and motivate your team around a common goal. Identifying and communicating that goal is your biggest challenge.

*What it's called is clearly irrelevant.

When you want to go fast, go alone.When you want to go far, go together. -African proverb

Wise words, those are. Let's take them a step further.

When you want to go fast, lightning fast, picking a small team with similar strengths is key. You can understand and think like each other, enabling you to move as a singular unit. It also tends to be really fun.

But, and this is a huge but, people with similar strengths tend to have similar weaknesses, which can open you up to a host of problems. Sometimes, fatal ones.

On the other hand, people with dissimilar strengths tend to take more time to get aligned and on board. Often times, it's a tense process. But, they tend to see each other's blind spots and can help shield each other from the negative ramifications.

So here's my version of the proverb:

For a sprint, seek similarity For a marathon, diversity wins

As a leader, your job is to empower your team. Empowerment requires decision making frameworks -- in other words, rules. (here's one) Another rule that works like a charm is my 5-10x rule.

Explain to your team that each step up on the totem pole, the person's time is worth 5-10x as much. So, when they have a problem, if they can solve it 5-10x faster by asking a question of their manager -- ask away! If not, figure it out on your own (try things, call support, etc.).

Note that you have to explain decision making frameworks. They're not a given, not always intuitive and not the same at every organization. To empower, you have to educate and reenforce.

This is also a great rule for yourself and other leaders. If you are doing things that AREN'T 5-10x more valuable than your team, its time to make changes, pronto. This rule forces you to think about leverage and how to make your time exponentially more valuable.

The most important thing that you do as a manager is enable your team. One of the best ways to do this is to explain the thought process behind your decisions, empowering them to make the decision next time.

Trying to decide when to send an email out... or to who? Work through the challenge out loud with your team. Next time, if you aren't available (or you just want them to own it), they'll be able to follow your logic chain and reach a similar conclusion to you.

Not to mention, understanding why you're doing something is incredibly motivating. Double win.

Almost everything can be distilled into a system. Fashion is an intersection of social & visual & physical systems. Preparing food is the same. Your natural inclinations towards specific types of systems will draw you towards:

• Optimizing from a social standpoint, making fashion that changes other people's perception of you (your power, beauty, wealth, etc.).
• Optimizing from the visual system, making fashion that is artistic and beautiful.
• AND/OR Optimizing based on human physical needs, making fashion that keeps people warm, dry and healthy.

The outcomes of these systems look very different.

Identifying the systems you want to optimize for  -- and the systems you find motivating & interesting -- goes a long way towards achieving your goals.

Someone I respect a lot asked me that question the other day. It kind of blindsided me, as I have strong relationships with the people he was referring to. But his point was nuanced and interesting: When relating to others, its more important to think about how your actions will make them feel, than what it will make them think of you.

I learned this early in my career, when I had exposure well beyond my age & experience. I found that, being eager, smart, 24 and working with 50-somethings, my ideas in meetings often weren't well received, despite being superior.

Thankfully, a mentor pulled me aside and put it in clear english: Rebecca, you do realize that when you say that all they're thinking is: Who does she think she is? Why didn't I think of that? or Is my worth / job / seniority at stake here? 

In other words, because they were feeling threatened, what they thought of me or my idea was irrelevant.

To be most effective, think about how you want people to feel, not what you want them to think of you.

I have been thinking a lot about pride and it's relationship to satisfaction and happiness. Pride gets a really bad rap. I think that people have it all wrong.

Pride connotes a sense of greatness, as well as worthiness of that greatness.

No wonder it is a key driver of long term satisfaction and happiness. What's better than deeply believing that you are great AND worthy of that greatness?

What Pride is lacks, is the need for external validation.

Arrogance which also imply greatness apply it ONLY within the context of others and the external scale of their greatness.

Humility implies a degree of inferiority or insignificance, again, ONLY within the context of others and the external scale of greatness.

We can all feel arrogant playing a game of kickball with 5 year olds. We can all feel humble compared to the universe (or Einstein, Picasso, etc.)

It's almost impossible to feel pride in comparison with either of these metrics because that's not where pride comes from. Pride comes from an internal measure of your own greatness. You don't feel great about winning kickball with 5 year olds... and you don't have to be smarter than Einstein to feel pride in your accomplishments.

Arrogance is 'I am better than you' Humility is 'You might be (are) better than me' Pride is 'I am worthy of myself'

With limited resources comes choices. You have $1,500 to spend on yoga this year, do you go to the amazing and life changing week long retreat... OR do you get an unlimited yoga pass and go everyday?

You have 3 weeks of vacation, do you take 3-day weekends all summer... or blow it all in a 2 week fun fest?

Do you optimize your life around building the highest quality normal day... or around intensifying you peak experiences?

I am a huge fan of the 80/20 rule. I believe that by ruthlessly focusing on the 20%, you can see sweeping improvements with minimal invasiveness. Note, I didn't say minimal effort.

You see, changing the 20% often requires a LOT of effort -- but it's effort applied with precision.

Change the 20% of meals that you eat 80% of the time... and you don't have to fuss or think so much about your occasional meal out.

Change the 20% of your work that really matters, you'll reap disproportionate rewards (hint - responding to emails and attending meetings are NOT that 20%).

Change your go-to stress reliever, the one you use most of the time, you can completely transform your health.

Identify your lowest hanging fruit 20% and the 20% with the biggest potential to impact your life in a positive way.

Those 2 changes alone will transform your life.

Almost all conflict trace its roots to three things:

1. A disagreement over or lack of information
2. A disagreement over assumptions or definitions
3. Psychological biases (these can be personal or societal)

These conflict need to be handled differently.

The first two are relatively easy: Information needs to be free and clear and assumptions & definitions need to be identified and refined.

Number three is where it gets hard. Unfortunately, it is human nature to be biased. We all are.

And bias based challenges are harder to resolve. They require awareness and desire to work on the conflict from both sides. Sadly, the lowest common denominator -- the bias itself -- generally self perpetuates.

Next time you're facing a conflict, make sure you do everything to resolve #1 & #2 before you start attacking #3.

So this last weekend, I sat down with my goals - and my to do lists - and realized that I really, really needed to prioritize. We aren't even a month into 2014 and I have already been feeling overwhelmed and like there is SO MUCH WORK to be done. Ya feel me?

It can be really hard to determine what is the best thing to do when there are so so many great options. Which is why today, I'm sharing my tip top decision making formula with you.

It's three simple questions that will help you decide: Should I do it, save it for later or just say no?

And it works like a charm. In fact, it will work for you right now. Imagine the clarity & conviction you'll feel once you nail your priorities down. (Trust me, I felt soooo much better!)

Now it's your turn to share with me! How do you decide what to focus on in your business? Or when you need to say no to an opportunity, even if its something you'd like to do?

I'd love to hear from you.

Talk soon! Rebecca