This past week, I was hanging out with Nikki when she dropped an amazing framework on me: When offering criticism use verbs, not adjectives.

Nikki identified this in the publishing industry after deep study of her bosses, mentors and peers who were able to effectively communicate (and those who weren't). The idea is that rather than directly criticizing their idea (that book cover is ugly) -- you talk about what the idea is communicating (the book cover suggests that...).

Amazing. I'm totally stealing this framework.

The real genius though is in the study and pattern recognition that enabled her to identify and communicate the framework.

Frameworks are worth their weight in gold as they quickly and effectively enable others to improve their decision making.

Here are a couple of other frameworks that I've shared:

• The 5-10x rule
• How to be lucky
• My 3 Laws for Prioritizing in an Online Business
• Urgent vs Important
• Where the big opportunities are
• The five ways to grow a business

One of, if not the single most important skill to thrive in a creative life (emotionally, intellectually, spiritually) is self management, or the internal ability to affect your mood, energy, productivity and attitude. Everyone can cultivate it.

Another way to think about it -- it's your ability to be a good boss to yourself. Your ability to direct motivate, focus, grow and sustain yourself. Pretty much the same list of core responsibilities of any manager!

Here are four great questions to start thinking about how you currently manage yourself... and how you can be a better boss for yourself!

1. What is my #1 priority? Am I honoring it?
2. What drives me to action?
3. When do I handle setbacks effectively? When do they derail me?
4. What replenishes me?

Even small improvements in self-management are 10x wins in life, so make them long term changes. Small & steady wins this race.

The best way to learn is to ask great questions. It doesn't matter if you are talking with an expert, reading a book or brainstorming alone -- focusing your effort by asking great questions is key.

Great questions focus your energy. They help you determine what is (and isn't) important and retain the information that matters.

Here are some great questions that work in all kinds of situations?

1. What information do you need to make the decision?
2. WHY are we (insert what you're doing)?
3. What are the biggest assumptions that drive this option / person / view?
4. What are the primary influences on this opinion / person / view?
5. Why does this matter?
6. What am I trying to convey? (message & feeling)
7. Who are the stakeholders? Who does this impact?
8. Who is protecting the status quo?
9. How has this changed over the last (year / decade / month)?
10. What is best for five years from now? (and change the time horizon)
11. What's important NOW?
12. Where have I seen these patterns before?
13. What are the potential downsides? upsides? Most likely outcome?
14. What is out of my control about this situation? What is in my control?
15. What would help?

The most important thing that you do as a manager is enable your team. One of the best ways to do this is to explain the thought process behind your decisions, empowering them to make the decision next time.

Trying to decide when to send an email out... or to who? Work through the challenge out loud with your team. Next time, if you aren't available (or you just want them to own it), they'll be able to follow your logic chain and reach a similar conclusion to you.

Not to mention, understanding why you're doing something is incredibly motivating. Double win.

Closely related to the skill of self-management, energy management is the foundation on which we build our lives. Its extremely challenging to build a great life on a shoddy foundation. I think of energy curation comes in four flavors:

1. Physical Wellbeing
2. Mental Fitness
3. Drive / Desire
4. Replenishment

A breakdown in any of these categories can kill productivity and even happiness.

I've been struggling with energy for a few years now, its been low and I've struggled to replenish even the small amount that I had.

I tried something new this weekend and its like I turned a on a light switch. I went from lethargic even after 8-12 hours of sleep... to waking up before the alarm, excited to get out of bed. If it holds up, I'll share more about my experiences soon.

This drastic shift really helped to open my eyes about the importance of protecting and fighting for my life's foundation. If you haven't been feeling at your best, I highly recommend you do too.

To note -- if you're also feeling low energy, this article from Josh Kaufman might be useful for you. It's not the solution that I came to, but it certainly gave me some motivation to fight.