What does it mean to dress with style? According to Hillary Rushford, it's all about dressing in a way that is "worthy of remarking upon."

I love that. And I try to.

But the thing is -- when you're figuring it all out -- dressing worthy of remark is scary. Not all remarks are positive. Not everyone is going to be on your side.

And, once people acclimate to your new style, what will be worthy of remark will still make you anxious. After all, what is worthy of remark is something that is just beyond their comfort zone (and, in turn, probably yours!).

Even once you develop fantastic style, you can't always tell if it will be a hit... or a big fat miss. (See all fashion shows, ever.)

In fact, trying to guess what will work can totally stifle you. It's the burden of the expectation of your style and the fear of falling from a greater height.

The solution: Lighten up and explore your edge.

And, yes, this applies to way more than dressing yourself. It applies to any and all acts of creativity.

Almost all conflict trace its roots to three things:

1. A disagreement over or lack of information
2. A disagreement over assumptions or definitions
3. Psychological biases (these can be personal or societal)

These conflict need to be handled differently.

The first two are relatively easy: Information needs to be free and clear and assumptions & definitions need to be identified and refined.

Number three is where it gets hard. Unfortunately, it is human nature to be biased. We all are.

And bias based challenges are harder to resolve. They require awareness and desire to work on the conflict from both sides. Sadly, the lowest common denominator -- the bias itself -- generally self perpetuates.

Next time you're facing a conflict, make sure you do everything to resolve #1 & #2 before you start attacking #3.

Some people like to chase. They go the fastest when they look at others, further ahead of them, taunting them to go a little faster, a little further. Other like to be chased. They go the fastest when they are out in front, motivated to gain distance and win by an ever increasing margin.

Neither is better, but knowing which one you are is worth it's weight in gold.

Just don't forget that those that you love and work with might not feel the same way.

For most of my life, relaxation and rest have been synonymous. When it was time for me to relax, I'd engage in a restful activity -- Netflix, mindless internet-ing, fun reading, taking a bath, etc.

Lately though, I've come to think as relaxation as a return to my life's equilibrium after the normal trials and tribulations of life.

Seems small, but it has big consequences.

Rather than resting, relaxation means doing an activity that brings me closer to the normative state I desire in my life.

And I don't desire a life of rest.

Rather a life of excitement! And coziness. And adventure. And ease. And love. And fun. And beauty. And simplicity. And, and, and.

So now, when I want to relax, I find a way to move towards one of those states of being.

This has meant a lot less internet.... and a lot more candles, walks and dinner parties.

It feels like, in this last week, several things have simply come to a head. I've been feeling some low level anxiety around what I'm doing with my life?!?! To the tune of... maybe I should move to a beach in Thailand and spend a few months "figuring it out"?

I'm so grateful when that phrase comes up for me -- "figure it out" -- because it is flashing neon sign that it's time to disengage my lizard brain and feel into my anxiety.

After all, we never get it "all figured out" and we never have the type of certainty or security that our lizard brain desires. Have a week in savings? You'll think, if only I could have a month. Have a month, you want a year... have money for life, you'll worry a tiger might eat you.

"Figuring it out" is not the real goal.

And while, I wish I could have gone from the point of low grade panic straight into the perfect lotus position where I was gifted an epiphany that... "figured it all out" for me --  that's not how life works.

Rather, over the last week or so, 3 things rang wildly, deeply true for me:

1. What Does It Mean to Love My Dog? It was pretty nasty on Thursday. Rainy. Cold. The kind of weather I haven't quite adjusted to yet.I had just come home from my co-working space (Hatch, love it!) and was petting & playing with Kaiya.

   While coo-ing, and telling her how much I love her, I was also justifying to myself that I didn't have to go to the park that day. After all, it was gross out. And I was petting her. And she's not destructive, so nothing bad happens if we skip the park. Not to mention, I love her sooo much!

   Suddenly, I caught myself -- we hadn't been to the park in FOUR days!So, what does it MEAN to love the dog?

   Kibble, words, and affection, absolutely. But isn't it also about translating my love into currency SHE values? Shouldn't it also be about helping HER create her best life?

   While I'm not quitting life and becoming a park hobo (that might Kaiya's dream life)... I decided if I'm going to keep cooing and telling her I love her, its time for me to step up and own that.

   I doled out some tough love... from myself, for myself.

2. Devotion is a Sexxxxxy Word Alexandra Franzen is a dear friend who has been writing about devotion lately. (And, she always has.)

   I like the word devotion because it takes the fear out of consistency.

   Ugh. Consistent. Stable. Predictable. I'm squirming in my seat at the mere thought of it. I rebel against it's conformity.

   But devotion -- an unrelenting and uncompromising dedication to love? Now that's something this girl can get behind.

3. A Lesson in the Value of Practice One of my favorite food bloggers -- Heidi Swanson over at 101 Cookbooks -- just wrote a post about her blog, as her practice.

   Blew my mind.

   It's funny. I've always thought about blogs as a mean to an end. Not really on purpose, but rather that all of the goals I had previously imagined for my blogs had been external.

   Heidi turned this on it's head and that is a huge lesson -- and a huge inspiration for me.

And with all of this swirling  in my mind, I know that it is time to step up to my love of ideas & problem solving & strategy and rekindle my devotion in the form of a practice. For myself, by myself and unattached from external goals. Anything that happens will be gravy.

I hope you join in and enjoy the ride. But if not, that's cool too.

Cheers & Devotion, Rebecca

Closely related to the skill of self-management, energy management is the foundation on which we build our lives. Its extremely challenging to build a great life on a shoddy foundation. I think of energy curation comes in four flavors:

1. Physical Wellbeing
2. Mental Fitness
3. Drive / Desire
4. Replenishment

A breakdown in any of these categories can kill productivity and even happiness.

I've been struggling with energy for a few years now, its been low and I've struggled to replenish even the small amount that I had.

I tried something new this weekend and its like I turned a on a light switch. I went from lethargic even after 8-12 hours of sleep... to waking up before the alarm, excited to get out of bed. If it holds up, I'll share more about my experiences soon.

This drastic shift really helped to open my eyes about the importance of protecting and fighting for my life's foundation. If you haven't been feeling at your best, I highly recommend you do too.

To note -- if you're also feeling low energy, this article from Josh Kaufman might be useful for you. It's not the solution that I came to, but it certainly gave me some motivation to fight.

In my first business, in the job search space, I heard a huge number of heartbreaking stories. People who were unemployed & truly down on their luck. But I remember one girl in particular, Dana.

We had our introductory call and Dana decided that she NEEDED to work with me. After discussing the pricing, she wanted to split it between three credit cards.

Trigger my massive guilt. It felt like I was charging too much money...

But I had already given one away for free that morning(!), so I tried to talk her out of it -- into one of my lower priced offerings.  Dana would have none of it. She said "I know that this will work for me. I know that this is going to turn it around."

And low and behold, it did. A week and a half after our work together, she got TWO job offers for $22k more than her previous job (and she had been unemployed for 4 months!).

Meanwhile, the gentleman I had guiltily helped for free, who had a stronger resume & better connections was still flailing about. Unsuccessful...

I thought to myself... there must be something more here. And there is...

What if I told you that making someone want to buy something can make them a better person?

Sound a little hard to believe? Well, it's true.

You see, deciding to buy is exactly the same process as deciding to change. So what we are REALLY doing when we sell, is helping our audience decide to change their lives for the better.

For themselves.

And this this something that sales and specifically money does better than just about anything. Think about a big investment you've made... did it help you step up to the challenge? To take it seriously?

Owning the sales process is one of the most important lessons to learn as a business owner. So, seriously, watch this video.

You know & I know that entrepreneurship is all about the hustle. Especially in the beginning... where its all about pushing through the uncomfortable stuff. How to talk about what you do... what the heck is your brand? ... how to create structure and manage your time?!?! Not to mention money. Oh the money mental gymnastics!

Fear is a dominant emotion in the early days and it makes us do some crazy stuff. And we learn how to push through it. No matter how uncomfortable or chaotic it gets.

After three years, countless clients and 3 new businesses, I am a master at pushing through it.

The netflix binges that punctuated my early days? Nearly gone. The panic around the question "What do you do?" A thing of the past. The question mark at the end of my pricing? Ha.

Pushing through it had become a way of life. And something I rarely questioned.

Enter November.

I started an amazing and very demanding new gig. I was in full swing for getting this site (RebeccaRapple.com) launched. And, I got about a pound of salt poured in a deep, deep emotional wound. Not to mention the holidays...

By early January, I was barely holding it together.

I tried drowning myself in self-care -- hello baths, massages & yoga galore! I tried cutting coffee... eating better... taking a weekend off grid... going to bed early... And I was already doing the bare minimum for this site and all of my other projects.

But I was sinking and just couldn't keep afloat.

Conversations with my friends, my coach and my therapist all ended with -- Can you just take some time off of RebeccaRapple.com?

I always said no. The only tool I had in my belt was to push through. Push through the discomfort. Push through the fear. Push, push, push.

Until I couldn't. I came home from one of those conversations -- with my dear friend Jeanne -- and thought to myself "Self-care -- Rebecca, you have to get your ass to the doctor's! You can't do this any more."

Although I didn't say it outloud, I knew right then that I was going to give myself some time off.

Time off from my business. Time off from my inbox. And most importantly, time off from my guilt for not pushing hard enough.

And I needed it. I found out that I was experiencing Stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue (it sucks). And my doctor's main prescription was to downshift. Which I did.

And here I am. Six weeks later. Adrenals back up in the normal range. And most importantly, I'm a touch bit wiser.

So right now, I want to give you the permission that I wish I had been able to give myself:

It's okay for you to push through -- to be tough, strong and determined -- if that is what will feel best next week.

AND

It's okay for you to back off and take a break and even let people down if that is what you are deeply aching for and if that is what is going to make next week better.

So thanks for rolling with the punches of life with me. I can't wait to be back next week and share one of my favorite episodes & worksheets to date.

Much Love, Rebecca

PS - Do you know someone who could use a little permission slip to slow down and be human? Go ahead and share this with them, maybe its exactly what they need right now.

So this last weekend, I sat down with my goals - and my to do lists - and realized that I really, really needed to prioritize. We aren't even a month into 2014 and I have already been feeling overwhelmed and like there is SO MUCH WORK to be done. Ya feel me?

It can be really hard to determine what is the best thing to do when there are so so many great options. Which is why today, I'm sharing my tip top decision making formula with you.

It's three simple questions that will help you decide: Should I do it, save it for later or just say no?

And it works like a charm. In fact, it will work for you right now. Imagine the clarity & conviction you'll feel once you nail your priorities down. (Trust me, I felt soooo much better!)

Now it's your turn to share with me! How do you decide what to focus on in your business? Or when you need to say no to an opportunity, even if its something you'd like to do?

I'd love to hear from you.

Talk soon! Rebecca

This weekend marks a big celebration for me! It's my birthday. I always give myself a total freebie on reflecting & goal setting around the new year and instead, use  my birthday as my time to step back and take a look at where I've been, where my life is heading and exactly what I want to do to course correct.

In other words, on top of celebrating with friends and a special bottle of bubbly I've been saving, I've got a hot date with a notebook, a pot of tea and some slippers this weekend.

Yum.

And it was on this weekend only two years ago that I had a sad - yet true - epiphany -- that I had been making $3.50 an hour in one part of my business. OUCH. That made my high school lifeguarding job look like FANTASTIC money.

Well, this video is the story of that realization and exactly what I did to transform this sad story into a major success. Not to mention, a really easy formula that will prevent you from any of this heart ache.

So go ahead, learn from my mistake and save yourself a lot of time, energy and struggle!

Now it's your turn to share with me! (Pretty please?)

What's best for you in your business right now? Where do you see yourself this time next year? I'd love to hear all about it.

Talk soon! Rebecca

I remember the very first website that I launched, right around 2006. I mind mapped, I planned, I wrote tons of content. I got great feedback from the people around me. But...

*CRICKETS*

And it killed me.

I looked at other people, doing similar things, with such ease -- and with such success. I felt like a failure. And it wasn't for lack of trying.

I know I'm not the only one for whom the Goliath's of their industry seem intimidating... or untouchable. And I know I'm not the only one who has thought to myself "Why would anyone work with me when they could work with... (fill in your own blank)?"

Well, I have the answer for you today. And its easier & simpler than you think.

So click play already! *grin*

So now it's your turn to share with me!

Which engagement filters are you already using? And which one are you going to implement next?

I can't wait to see you next week!

Talk soon! Rebecca

One of the reasons that resumes are so hard to write is that they have to speak to many different audiences — and to be compelling to each of them.

On top of that, resumes have to sell you in 5 seconds or less.

And, let’s be honest, for the person reading it, their email is open and the phone ringing. In other words, your resume has to sell you in a very distracted five seconds.

That’s a tall order.

Lucky for you, there are strategies that enable you to control where the reader’s eyes look for that five seconds. And, when you control where they look, you can control what they think!

FIVE WAYS TO PASS THE FIVE SECOND SCAN

Start with a Super-Hero Summary
The very first thing anyone reading your resume should see is a concise statement of why they should hire you. This should be at the top, bold and discrete from your resume. It needs to be specific to the position and compelling.

By putting a summary at the top of your resume, you make certain that they are clear on your personal brand, even if they only look at your resume for one second!

Draw Attention to Your Key Points
Start by outlining the key points that you want to make on your resume. Perhaps you’d like to draw attention to relevant industry experience, a specific software program you use or an achievement from a previous employer.

Once you have this outline, think about the best way to make these points jump out above all others. You may want to include a box of languages you know or highlight your business philosophy prior to your work experience.

Make a plan that will enable you to focus energy on the key points you want to get across.

Using Bolding Like a Pro
Bolding (and formatting generally) helps you control the eyes of the reader. So use it wisely.

If everything is bolded, nothing jumps out. If nothing is bolded, you are losing a huge opportunity to guide your reader to the most important parts of your application.

Here are some rules of thumb that will help you get past the five second resume scan:

• Less than 20% of the page should be bolded. Less is more.
• Keep your formatting & bolding patterns consistent across jobs.
• Bold only the key phrase in a line.
• When you read through ONLY the bolded words on your resume, it should make sense

When you follow these rules, your reader’s eyes will be able to glance down the page and still pull out all of the most important details!

Psst — you can read more on bolding & formatting your resume here

Get Rid of Glaring Errors
The biggest thing that five second scans do is identify immediate “No” resumes. Glaring errors are a sure route to that pile.

Glaring errors are extremely common. Extremely.

Have someone else read your resume from start to finish. Use spell check (duh). Double check all acronyms, industry-specific names, etc.

Ensure that you have all the requisite information on your page. (Have you been meaning to fill in the years on that one position and forgot?)

Don’t get rejected for a silly error.

Earn Yourself More Attention
This is the most interesting strategy. It’s also the riskiest, but, when done well, pays off big time.

Put yourself in the place of a recruiter, HR or Hiring Manager. They’ve got a stack of resumes on their desk. A big one. Now ask yourself how you can stand out in a way that is both effective and positive.

This is not the time to send a baseball glove with the note “I’m a great catch.” Will you stand out? Yes. Is it positive? Almost certainly not. You will be the punchline at lunch.

So let’s talk about what is effective and positive: you need to use the skills that you need for the job in a way that sets you apart.

What does that mean exactly? Let’s take a look at some examples:

If you are in sales, it might mean using your follow-up and consistency to “close the deal” over the phone.

If you are a designer, it might mean using your application as an opportunity to show off your design skills — specific to the company. (Use their branding, but make it your own!)

If you are in customer service, perhaps you include testimonials from callers you’ve handled.

The possibilities are endless. The idea is that you find a way to show the skills that you are going to need to excel at your work. This makes you unique and helps you to stand out in a way that is effective — not tacky. And, of course, it will earn you more time and attention on your resume!

WHY ITS IMPORTANT TO FOCUS ON THE FIVE SECOND RESUME SCAN

It’s a reality that 80+% of candidates get rejected in the five second scan. Its not fair, but it’s true.

It’s the scan that narrows the field and defines your competition. Your resume needs to be built to win the quick resume scan.

Implementing these changes will drastically improve your chances of getting the job — and impressing recruiters, HR and hiring managers alike.

Author:

Rebecca Rapple has been featured in Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Keith Ferrazzi’s My Greenlight and more. You can learn more about the fundamentals of a remarkable job search on her site, The Resume Revolution.

Cold calls rarely work. And, when they do, it is a game of numbers, of getting enough (hundreds?) of resumes or leads out there, hoping that one will stick.

Warm calls, on the other hand, are far more likely to result in success: a client or a new job.

Today, there is no reason to ever make a cold call again.

We have so many opportunities to build relationships today that, in fact, you have no excuse. The goal isn’t to make a new best friend before calling, just to become friendly enough that they recognize your name.

10 strategies tO NEVER MAKE A COLD CALL AGAIN

1. Get An Introduction Nothing warms a cold call like an introduction from a mutual friend. This is often best done in person (at a dinner party, perhaps?), but can certainly done through an email, where you are both copied. Don’t be afraid to ask your current network for introductions.

2. Share Genuine Interest! Reach out to the person with authentic praise or a question about their expertise. People are generally happy to talk about themselves. And, who doesn’t love praise?

3. Connect Over Blogs People who blog generally think of them as their babies! If they have a blog, leave thoughtful comments at least 3 times or, if you are a real over-achiever, ask to write a guest post or ask them to guest post on your blog!

4. Have a Twitter Chat Use social media to your advantage! Find out if your desired contact is on twitter and connect away. You can start by following them, but that is just the very beginning! Take a look at what kinds of ideas they are sharing and conversations that they are having and connect in a way that makes them feel comfortable!

5. Join Their LinkedIn Conversation LinkedIn is a must for job seekers, but many use it simply as a passive resume. Start interacting and join the conversation! If you contact is an active part of the group, go to them! If not, post something that you think would be meaningful to them and send them a note, asking for their 2 cents.

6. Develop a Relationship with the Gatekeeper Gatekeepers are powerful people: they grant access. You really want them on your side! Make sure to learn their name and as much about their life, work and challenges as possible. Be ready to jump to help them. Small gestures go a long way.

7. Connect at an Event There are dozens if not hundreds of events in major cities every month. Think about your ambitions and start attending! Always set yourself goals for each event, but stay open to other opportunities you encounter.

8. Highlight a Connection Do your research! Do you share something that you both love? Golf, reading, an alma matter, having twins? Find the personal connection and start with that.

9. Gift Information Everyone wants to be great at their job and everyone wants to stay up to date, but, with the massive amount of information out there, we are all bound to miss things. Find something that you think would be extremely helpful to the person and reach out to share that. Its a form of leading with generosity.

10. Ask for an Informational Interview This is a pretty big ask for a cold call, although, with the right strategy, it can be successful. It would be better to warm the contact through ideas above and THEN ask for the informational interview. The things to remember: the ask is all about flattery, the time you spend should be 70-80% about THEM!

I hope that helps you build bridges to many fruitful relationships. Once you do connect, never forget the number one rule about relationships: GIVE MORE THAN YOU GET!

Author:

Rebecca Rapple has been featured in Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Keith Ferrazzi’s My Greenlight and more. You can learn more about the fundamentals of a remarkable job search on her site, The Resume Revolution.

This is the final part of my series on Why Your Personal Brand Needs a Mindset Shift. You can read the other posts in this series here: Part One: Your Personal Brand Needs a Mindset ShiftPart Two: Normal is Not Enough and Part Three: Answer the Why!
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I hear from job seekers on almost a daily basis that they’ve sent out 100 resumes and just aren’t having any luck. Or perhaps you run a small business where you run yourself ragged chasing hundreds of leads each day!

Well, today is the day to rethink those strategies. To turn them on their head even.

QUALITY IS BETTER THAN QUANTITY

One person who buys everything that you offer is better than 10,000 people who never buy anything.
One interview is better than 100 job applications you never hear back on.
One person who visits your site every day is better than 100 people visiting just once.
One outstanding assignment is better than 20 just-what-we-expected results.

QUALITY IS BETTER THAN QUANTITY.

And, as always, I’m going to give you a three-step tactical plan for success. So, take out a paper and pen to get the most out of it!

Step One: Identify What Success Looks Like What does success look like for you? Is it a job offer, a paying customer or a raise?

Step Two: Determine Your Time Investment Assess just how much effort (time, money, energy) you have been putting into earning this success. How long did it take you to submit 100 resumes? Or how much did the spike in traffic cost you? Whatever you do, just make an honest assessment of how much work you’ve put into your current results.

Step Three: Make an Investment in Quality If it’s taken 20 hours of your week each week to make cold calls to 100 businesses, is there a better way for you to use these 20 hours? I believe that there is. Rather than making 100 cold calls, what if you invested those same 20 hours into 5 extremely well-matched potential clients. You would have time to to extensive research on each client, create a personalized presentation and invest your time into building relationships: all of which will yield a far greater success rates.

WHAT DOES QUALITY LOOK LIKE?

Let’s translate this to the job search: rather than submit 100 resumes, what if you picked 5 companies or departments within companies you’d really like to work for and put 100% of your efforts into that? You would know each of those companies forwards and backwards, you would be able to do significant internal networking, you could invest in your application, showcasing exactly the things that they want to see — all without expending any additional effort.

Let’s look at one more example: you want to get a raise. To get a raise, generally speaking, you need to do more work than your job description. The challenge is that you are already putting in the maximum time that you want to allot to your own job description, so how can you add more? How can you focus on quality? Again, its all about walking through these three steps: identify what success looks like in your position: What are the three most important things you do?; look at the time that you spend outside of those three key pieces What are you doing that is sub-optimal or unimportant?; translate this into quality Meet with your boss, talk through how you can create space for you to take on bigger projects. And, when you choose the project — go for broke. Take a risk and invest yourself in it fully.

By choosing quality, you will stand head and shoulders above the crowd making your success rate exponentially higher. Making this mindset shift will get you results.

I’ve seen it work — time and time again. What does choosing quality look like for you?

Author:

Rebecca Rapple has been featured in Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Keith Ferrazzi’s My Greenlight and more. You can learn more about the fundamentals of a remarkable job search on her site, The Resume Revolution.