Most people don't think of themselves as marketers or salespeople. They think of Don Draper or Coca Cola or used car salesmen... not themselves. But, business or no business... marketing degree or not, you are in the biz.

Trying to get you kids to eat broccoli? Tough sell. Trying to sell your boss on an idea? Marketing & sales at heart. Looking for a date online? 100% pure marketing.

Long story short, to accomplish anything in life, improving your marketing an selling skills -- you ability to effectively communicate and persuade others -- will reap disproportionate rewards.

For most of my life, I've focused exclusively on outcome goals. Win the race. Lose 20 pounds Break 6-figures.

This year, I'm focusing almost exclusively on action goals.

Post (nearly) everyday. Move my body (nearly) everyday. Meditate (nearly) everyday.

I'm very curious to see what the outcomes are, when the goals themselves aren't focused on them, or even predict them. Internally, it feels like a breath of fresh air.

I like the fact that it deeply reduces my desire to steal from the future, to hit my goal more quickly. Whether that is by skimping on sleep, stacking my "gym days" for the end of the week (because I procrastinated) or getting into yo-yo eating habits. Action goals help me mitigate and minimize these patterns that are destructive in the long term.

Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) calls action goals systems, rather than goals. While you might not be certain what the system is going to produce, they "move you from a game with low odds to a game with better odds." In other words, rather than getting hooked on losing 20 pounds and failing when you only hit 19... or failing when you lose 25 pounds of fat, but gain 10 pounds of muscle, the system enables you to focus on and maintain gains, in whatever form they arrive.

From the outside, teams and committees* look very similar. And, when things are easy, the results might even be similar. Internally, they couldn't be more different.

Teams are motivated around a singular goal, larger than any of them. Committees are groups of people that are protecting their own interests.

When marketing is looking out for marketing, or a town thinking only about their citizens (and not the whole county or state), you know you're in a committee.

The differences become readily apparent when the going gets hard.

On a team, decisions may be hard and discussion heated, but it culminates in action. Often, challenging, bold action, that may even be negative for members of the team.

On a committee, nothing real gets done. There is much discussion and fanfare... but, action is usually blocked, delayed or exceedingly safe. When it comes to hard times, committees rarely win.

As a leader, you need to unite and motivate your team around a common goal. Identifying and communicating that goal is your biggest challenge.

*What it's called is clearly irrelevant.

When you want to go fast, go alone.When you want to go far, go together. -African proverb

Wise words, those are. Let's take them a step further.

When you want to go fast, lightning fast, picking a small team with similar strengths is key. You can understand and think like each other, enabling you to move as a singular unit. It also tends to be really fun.

But, and this is a huge but, people with similar strengths tend to have similar weaknesses, which can open you up to a host of problems. Sometimes, fatal ones.

On the other hand, people with dissimilar strengths tend to take more time to get aligned and on board. Often times, it's a tense process. But, they tend to see each other's blind spots and can help shield each other from the negative ramifications.

So here's my version of the proverb:

For a sprint, seek similarity For a marathon, diversity wins

Do you get grumpy when you're hungry?Or perhaps its hard to find something interesting when you're exhausted? Or maybe you get annoyed when there is repetitive noise around you?

If you're like most of us, all of them are true.

They are background experiences that interfere with your reality, which is why it is so key to take care of your animal needs. After all, the last thing you want is a negative background experience to taint everything. 

But, background experiences don't have to be negative.

It's are worth testing & investigating to find what makes all of your experiences better. These are 20% opportunities.

I get a huge return from making my space reflective of the way I want to spend my time  and from exercising. Detailed examples are adding a library shelf in my living room and quieting my mind in yoga.

You might love music in the background.... or a scented candle... or a certain temperature... or a view -- the opportunities are endless and highly personal. It's all about what works for you.

Changing your background experience changes everything: its the foundation of your reality.

January 1st is a good reminder: when it comes to resolutions and goals, measure progress, not perfection. After all, we are all perfectly imperfect...

Setting your standard at perfection is the fastest route to failure, and often, worse outcomes than before.

But progress -- my nearly phenomenon -- is admirable and attainable.

I love this tool for tracking progress, even if you don't do it everyday.

Julia Mancuso, a world class ski racer and olympic gold medalist, shared this picture on Instagram with the caption:

Pressure enhances motivation, concentration and enjoyment.

It's hardly shocking to me, a ski racer in a past life, that she would feel this way. Ski racing is the overlapping Venn Diagram of pressure, adrenaline and danger. Outcomes are 100% on your shoulders... and we learned to enjoy it.

The purpose of pressure is to focus your attention and energy onto a singular ambition. 

Not only will this make you better, it will also enhance your experience. After all, without attention, there is no pleasure.

On the other hand, pressure can get to you. This causes you to lose attention and focus on outside forces (most frequently, what will happen if you fail or who you will disappoint).

This is why pressure gets a bad rap: the external focus completely undermines its purpose and sets you up to fail.

Pressure is just a tool: a tool that provokes focus.

It can be very powerful, but if the tool doesn't work for you, don't use it.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.-Booker T. Washington

We are defined not only by who we are, but by what we confront, what we overcome and what we allow to pass us by.

I was raised with this as fact, blunt and true. And I still believe it.

The key to success is identifying the leverage point between your skills and your aspirations. Each generation -- each person -- has different opportunities and challenges before them.

While hardly equal or similar, everyone has the opportunity to step up, to overcome.

Everyone has opportunities. Everyone has challenges.

What will you do with yours?

This is where the big wins are. This is where there is untapped potential.

Warren Buffet's secret? Read. Go to bed smarter than you woke up. Simple, but not easy.

The path to health? It's 7 keys, not one of them would surprise you. Simple, but not easy.

Want a loving relationship? The science is laid out: be aware, be considerate. Simple, but not easy.

Don't be one of the millions searching for the silver bullet, the complex but easy solution.

The big wins come from the simple, but not easy solutions. They're readily available and often obvious... they just aren't easy.

If ALL of your potential clients / customers knew everything about, well, everything WHO would want to work with you? This means they know all about you, your business, your skills, your competition, etc. Everything. With all that, who wants to work with you?

How long have their been in business? Who are their customers? What are their challenges? How old are they? Where do they live? How much money do they have to spend? Why are they choosing you?

Perhaps you realize that the people that want to work with you want handholding that isn't available elsewhere... or that they simply want to have their problem solved, without thinking about it... or that they value new ideas and placing bets on tests.

The discoveries are limitless.

As a leader, your job is to empower your team. Empowerment requires decision making frameworks -- in other words, rules. (here's one) Another rule that works like a charm is my 5-10x rule.

Explain to your team that each step up on the totem pole, the person's time is worth 5-10x as much. So, when they have a problem, if they can solve it 5-10x faster by asking a question of their manager -- ask away! If not, figure it out on your own (try things, call support, etc.).

Note that you have to explain decision making frameworks. They're not a given, not always intuitive and not the same at every organization. To empower, you have to educate and reenforce.

This is also a great rule for yourself and other leaders. If you are doing things that AREN'T 5-10x more valuable than your team, its time to make changes, pronto. This rule forces you to think about leverage and how to make your time exponentially more valuable.

Words matter. They shape your experience and, in turn, your life. The words you choose offer insights into your psyche and ideas. The ability to clearly understand and express yourself through language is a significant advantage. At everything.

To improve, the easiest way is to study opposite and adjacent words.

Looking adjacent, consider the difference between dreams, ambitions and goals... or the gulf between joy and satisfaction... or the picture painted by helped versus enabled.

Is the opposite of humility pride? Or is it arrogance? Turns out, it matters.

Your words matter.

Don't take them for granted. Use the thesaurus to make your mind -- and your ideas -- sharper.

The most important thing that you do as a manager is enable your team. One of the best ways to do this is to explain the thought process behind your decisions, empowering them to make the decision next time.

Trying to decide when to send an email out... or to who? Work through the challenge out loud with your team. Next time, if you aren't available (or you just want them to own it), they'll be able to follow your logic chain and reach a similar conclusion to you.

Not to mention, understanding why you're doing something is incredibly motivating. Double win.

Morning routines are misunderstood. They don't exist to feel good. They don't exist to help you wake up. They don't exist to make sure you get out the door on time.

The goal of a morning routine is to setup your conditions for success.

It answers the question where do I go to create great things? And then, walks you to it's doorstep. It harnesses your energy, inspiration, focus and attention on the things that are important to you.

In other words, it is conscious manipulation of yourself for your own good.

The best way to make one is backwards.

Ask, where do I need to go (and who do I need to be) to create great things? Then, construct activities and rituals that bring you to that place. Consistently.

It works.

Almost everything can be distilled into a system. Fashion is an intersection of social & visual & physical systems. Preparing food is the same. Your natural inclinations towards specific types of systems will draw you towards:

• Optimizing from a social standpoint, making fashion that changes other people's perception of you (your power, beauty, wealth, etc.).
• Optimizing from the visual system, making fashion that is artistic and beautiful.
• AND/OR Optimizing based on human physical needs, making fashion that keeps people warm, dry and healthy.

The outcomes of these systems look very different.

Identifying the systems you want to optimize for  -- and the systems you find motivating & interesting -- goes a long way towards achieving your goals.

Tough decisions tend to feel complicated and overwhelming. This question simplifies, clarifies and provides a path of action: What would it take for me to feel great about making this decision?

Sometimes, there isn't a great answer... But often, I get a flash of inspiration and a to-do list to match it.

Most often this happens when I want something, but feel apprehensive about it. In that case, the action is a litmus test for whether or not I'm devoted to the decision I'd like to make.

One example is a business investment. I told myself that in order to feel great about it, I had to make 5 sales calls and close at least one project. In that case, I was motivated and hit it out of the park.... I made the calls immediately and the investment less than a week later.

Another time, I was attempting to determine the fate of a relationship. I realized that I would only feel great about making the decision if we did a short term trial separation. He wasn't open to this, so we ended it then.

Getting clear about what you need to feel great is the first step to making great decisions, even if those decisions inherently suck.

Someone I respect a lot asked me that question the other day. It kind of blindsided me, as I have strong relationships with the people he was referring to. But his point was nuanced and interesting: When relating to others, its more important to think about how your actions will make them feel, than what it will make them think of you.

I learned this early in my career, when I had exposure well beyond my age & experience. I found that, being eager, smart, 24 and working with 50-somethings, my ideas in meetings often weren't well received, despite being superior.

Thankfully, a mentor pulled me aside and put it in clear english: Rebecca, you do realize that when you say that all they're thinking is: Who does she think she is? Why didn't I think of that? or Is my worth / job / seniority at stake here? 

In other words, because they were feeling threatened, what they thought of me or my idea was irrelevant.

To be most effective, think about how you want people to feel, not what you want them to think of you.

Its miraculous how we manipulate our circumstances to fit our emotional state. I was reminded of this today while listening to a (great) podcast with Jerry Colonna and Rand Fiskin. Rand was sharing his struggles with depression and how, everything, no matter the content, became proof of just how screwed he was: "I was in Italy in an absolutely beautiful garden thinking to myself, FUCK, why can't I build something beautiful like this?" (paraphrased)

And it's true. So true.

When you're feeling up, it's easy to see setbacks as fun challenges or meaningful growth opportunities.

When you're feeling down, even the sun and the stars are out to get you.

Remember -- your circumstances are simply fuel for your current mindset. Meaning, things probably aren't as bad (or good) as they currently feel.

Behind every effortless act is... well, a ton of effort. The musical notes improvised with ease comes from years of trial -- and more importantly, error. The graceful tennis swing, years of practice. The divine meal comes after meals of burnt pasta and with much study (from books, people or flavors).

Even the effortless beginner has put in effort. The athlete? They surely worked on their balance and their fitness. The crazy intellect has years of reading and study behind them. The effortless beauty has doubtless perfected her makeup, fashion and hair over years (and has embarassing picture from her past to prove it!)

Where there is an effortless beginning, there is years of intense effort in an adjacent field.

Yes, their are geniuses. But often, the delta between genius and the rest of us comes from the gulf in effort, rather than a gulf in ability.

• Einstein chose his entire career (at the patent office) based on what would be easy and allow him to ponder while seeing all kinds of inventions.
• Mozart was forced to practice for hours upon hours everyday under the guidance of his father, a famous violin teacher.
• Tiger Woods was playing golf before the age of two.

Before you stand in awe of effortlessness, deconstruct it. What would it take to be effortless at this skill? Hint, it's an internalized understanding of the system.

Effortlessness is an outcome of intensive effort.

Beauty, awe, wonder, delight. We chose to embrace it -- and be embraced by it -- or not.

There is wilderness not far from anywhere. There is a sunset everyday. Water glistens in the sun and dances in the rain, in a puddle or a roaring river.

It's everywhere. It's free.

It's up to us to appreciate it.