If ALL of your potential clients / customers knew everything about, well, everything WHO would want to work with you? This means they know all about you, your business, your skills, your competition, etc. Everything. With all that, who wants to work with you?

How long have their been in business? Who are their customers? What are their challenges? How old are they? Where do they live? How much money do they have to spend? Why are they choosing you?

Perhaps you realize that the people that want to work with you want handholding that isn't available elsewhere... or that they simply want to have their problem solved, without thinking about it... or that they value new ideas and placing bets on tests.

The discoveries are limitless.

The most important thing that you do as a manager is enable your team. One of the best ways to do this is to explain the thought process behind your decisions, empowering them to make the decision next time.

Trying to decide when to send an email out... or to who? Work through the challenge out loud with your team. Next time, if you aren't available (or you just want them to own it), they'll be able to follow your logic chain and reach a similar conclusion to you.

Not to mention, understanding why you're doing something is incredibly motivating. Double win.

Someone I respect a lot asked me that question the other day. It kind of blindsided me, as I have strong relationships with the people he was referring to. But his point was nuanced and interesting: When relating to others, its more important to think about how your actions will make them feel, than what it will make them think of you.

I learned this early in my career, when I had exposure well beyond my age & experience. I found that, being eager, smart, 24 and working with 50-somethings, my ideas in meetings often weren't well received, despite being superior.

Thankfully, a mentor pulled me aside and put it in clear english: Rebecca, you do realize that when you say that all they're thinking is: Who does she think she is? Why didn't I think of that? or Is my worth / job / seniority at stake here? 

In other words, because they were feeling threatened, what they thought of me or my idea was irrelevant.

To be most effective, think about how you want people to feel, not what you want them to think of you.

The most effective companies deliver a feeling.

• Coke delivers happiness.
• Starbucks delivers a shot of indulgence.
• TJ Maxx delivers the thrill of deal seeking.
• Harley Davidson delivers the offbeat cool.

All the best brands deliver on this promise -- and the best people do too.

What are you delivering? Is that different from what you wish you were delivering?

It always makes me chuckle when people talk about status as if it is a singular category or item. Status is a value signal to the group of people you desire to belong to and what you value.

It doesn't have to mean money. In fact, status can come from things that cost LESS money -- like the status of packing your child's lunch for school.

• I care about the latest fasion (just like you) so I carry a LV purse
• I value crafts made with love (just like you), so I knit my own scarves
• I value quality tools (just like you) so my chain saw is construction grade
• I love the outdoors (just like you) so I wear Arcterx
• I value making money (just like you), so I drive a BMW

The funny thing about status is that, no matter what group you belong to -- the ones who spend, save or thrift --  it sparks emotions from confusion to disdain from the outside while it sparks admiration, pride or jealousy from the inside.

And it's that emotional reaction of categorizing that is the whole point of status: I elevate myself relative to you, based on my values.

Relationships are glued together by shared experience. And, while, chit chat over brunch counts... creating something together counts so much more.

Creation, by its very nature, causes us to play with vulnerability. And vulnerability is gasoline on the fire of a relationship.

When we're at our edge, we see parts of ourselves and others that normally hide just underneath the surface: the competitive spirit, the empathy, the intellectual processing power, the emotional breakdowns, the creativity. In other words, the real, good, juicy stuff.

This is why some relationships can become real so fast -- and often withstand the test of time -- they may be short, but they are full of the juicy stuff.

Here are a few ideas to spark this kind of bondig:

• Travel (the next town over without a plan... or Laos!)
• Learn a new sport
• Take an art class
• Lean a language
• Go for a hike in bad weather (this is more fun than it sounds!)
• Find a spot to throw pottery
• Make pasta and sauce, from scratch, together
• Grow a community garden
• Write stories & share them
• Do something Daredevil-ish (bungy jump, skydive, roller coasters)
• Commit to an exercise plan, together

When it comes to optimal experiences, there are two things you can shoot for:

1. Surprise & delight by exceeding expectations that the customer didn't even know that they had or
2.  Comfort and serenity of being completely at home and trusting that everything is perfect

Neither one is right or wrong. And, at different times, we all want both.

But one of those is much harder than the other. It's also much rarer, so if you can make it happen, it's worth your time.

What does it mean to dress with style? According to Hillary Rushford, it's all about dressing in a way that is "worthy of remarking upon."

I love that. And I try to.

But the thing is -- when you're figuring it all out -- dressing worthy of remark is scary. Not all remarks are positive. Not everyone is going to be on your side.

And, once people acclimate to your new style, what will be worthy of remark will still make you anxious. After all, what is worthy of remark is something that is just beyond their comfort zone (and, in turn, probably yours!).

Even once you develop fantastic style, you can't always tell if it will be a hit... or a big fat miss. (See all fashion shows, ever.)

In fact, trying to guess what will work can totally stifle you. It's the burden of the expectation of your style and the fear of falling from a greater height.

The solution: Lighten up and explore your edge.

And, yes, this applies to way more than dressing yourself. It applies to any and all acts of creativity.

In my first business, in the job search space, I heard a huge number of heartbreaking stories. People who were unemployed & truly down on their luck. But I remember one girl in particular, Dana.

We had our introductory call and Dana decided that she NEEDED to work with me. After discussing the pricing, she wanted to split it between three credit cards.

Trigger my massive guilt. It felt like I was charging too much money...

But I had already given one away for free that morning(!), so I tried to talk her out of it -- into one of my lower priced offerings.  Dana would have none of it. She said "I know that this will work for me. I know that this is going to turn it around."

And low and behold, it did. A week and a half after our work together, she got TWO job offers for $22k more than her previous job (and she had been unemployed for 4 months!).

Meanwhile, the gentleman I had guiltily helped for free, who had a stronger resume & better connections was still flailing about. Unsuccessful...

I thought to myself... there must be something more here. And there is...

What if I told you that making someone want to buy something can make them a better person?

Sound a little hard to believe? Well, it's true.

You see, deciding to buy is exactly the same process as deciding to change. So what we are REALLY doing when we sell, is helping our audience decide to change their lives for the better.

For themselves.

And this this something that sales and specifically money does better than just about anything. Think about a big investment you've made... did it help you step up to the challenge? To take it seriously?

Owning the sales process is one of the most important lessons to learn as a business owner. So, seriously, watch this video.

So this last weekend, I sat down with my goals - and my to do lists - and realized that I really, really needed to prioritize. We aren't even a month into 2014 and I have already been feeling overwhelmed and like there is SO MUCH WORK to be done. Ya feel me?

It can be really hard to determine what is the best thing to do when there are so so many great options. Which is why today, I'm sharing my tip top decision making formula with you.

It's three simple questions that will help you decide: Should I do it, save it for later or just say no?

And it works like a charm. In fact, it will work for you right now. Imagine the clarity & conviction you'll feel once you nail your priorities down. (Trust me, I felt soooo much better!)

Now it's your turn to share with me! How do you decide what to focus on in your business? Or when you need to say no to an opportunity, even if its something you'd like to do?

I'd love to hear from you.

Talk soon! Rebecca

I remember the very first website that I launched, right around 2006. I mind mapped, I planned, I wrote tons of content. I got great feedback from the people around me. But...

*CRICKETS*

And it killed me.

I looked at other people, doing similar things, with such ease -- and with such success. I felt like a failure. And it wasn't for lack of trying.

I know I'm not the only one for whom the Goliath's of their industry seem intimidating... or untouchable. And I know I'm not the only one who has thought to myself "Why would anyone work with me when they could work with... (fill in your own blank)?"

Well, I have the answer for you today. And its easier & simpler than you think.

So click play already! *grin*

So now it's your turn to share with me!

Which engagement filters are you already using? And which one are you going to implement next?

I can't wait to see you next week!

Talk soon! Rebecca